Adverts - what were they thinking?

Now perhaps I shouldn't let TV adverts wind me up, but coming from a marketing background I am painfully aware of the lengthy, ball-achingly over-complicated process that goes into producing some of the shit that graces our tellyboxes in the ad breaks.  The hours of self-important brain showers and creative workshops; the pissing contests between colleagues discussing such minor details that most normal people wouldn't give a fuck about; the 100s of thousands of pounds that are paid to uber-cool advertising agencies just to state the fucking obvious.

(Note to self - must find new career path.....).

Anyway, in my newly redundant state I have been watching a fair amount of telly, and already a couple of ads have caught my eye as being eye-wateringly shit.


Dove Invisible Dry Deodorant

Now deodorant adverts are normally pretty bland, inoffensive things (I'm not including Lynx in this statement, as it is actually not a deodorant but a body spray fact fans).  And the new Dove offering is no different - a lovely selection of  'real ladies' spouting about how this deodorant has changed their lives.

But what this advert gets is the award for "I'm a global brand, but my marketing department is so cheapshit that we produce one global advert then dub it badly into the local lingo".  Watch out for the scouser that opens the ad - the matching of voice to talking head is SO bad that you can only assume that someone in Dove's ad agency was very pissed off (or pissed) that particular day.

http://www.tellyads.com/show_movie.php?filename=TA12419


Nescafe 3 in 1 Coffee

Oh where to start?  You can imagine the product development brainstorm "Yeah, it's like a bit difficult to make a cup of instant coffee, with like having to get milk out of the fridge, and sugar from the cupboard and stuff.  Perhaps we can appeal to a younger consumer by making it like really simple?  It worked for Wash n' Go ("Take two bottles into the shower? Not me..."), dishwasher tablets that don't even need unwrapping, remember the massive success of instant tea??

OK, perhaps not instant tea, but there's definitely a market for lazy-assed bastards that can't be fucked to make a cup of coffee."

If the premise for the product wasn't bad enough, the advert is truly toe curling.  Imagine a bunch of attractive 20-somethings the morning after a house party (not Skins teens after a party, they would be far too busy necking Red Bull and lighting up a Marlboro Light first thing, rather than a cup of Nescafe with powdered milk).

The voice-over chimes in with "We all know that after party feeling...", with lots of guilty/awkward looks from the beautiful housemates.  Now I'm sorry, but the things you would normally feel guilty about after a party aren't going to be cured by a mug of sweetened, whitened instant coffee.  Snarfing all of the drugs, puking down the back of the sofa, trying to fuck your best mate's partner and pissing in your housemate's wardrobe - now THAT means that you're subject to a restraining order and evicted, not bonding over a nice cup of warming Nescafe.

http://www.nescafe.co.uk/3in1