Sunday ad watch

Morning GOG fans

Time for a round up of some particularly crap advertising this morning.  Now, bearing in mind the sheer deluge of shit that assaults your eyeballs in the ad breaks, this post could go on forever.  But it won't.  Because I can't be arsed.  And I'm busy.  Well, not busy exactly.

This post is dedicated to one of my grumpy idols Ben Goldacre, a doctor and science writer who produces the fantastic Bad Science column in The Guardian.  Dr. Goldacre was sued (unsuccessfully) by 'Dr.' Gillian McKeith, after he exposed her for being an utter fraud, and not actually a Dr.  His book, Bad Science, ruthlessly rips apart today's media for its (often deliberately) misleading use of scientific 'facts', whether in moisturiser advertising, or on a national scale with the MMR vaccination scare.  Read it.  Because it's good.

Dove Mencare

First up, Dove Mencare showergel.  Dove's highly publicised use of 'real people' doesn't seem to apply to its men's advertising - this is the usual smiling, buff bloke shot in black and white in the shower rather than an ageing bloater lathering his bits.  But what makes this ad stand out as a piece of televisual crap is the absolute NONSENSE that the ad is based on.

"Leather dries out.  Just as men's skin."

OK, just reflect on this a minute.  To begin with the grammar isn't great, but the thing that really gets me steaming is the comparison of leather to skin - WTF?? Granted, leather is made from skin, however it goes through several very nasty chemical processes to get there!  Would you liken a leather jacket to a skin jacket?  Not unless you were the serial killer from Silence of the Lambs.

Alternative straplines could just as easily use "A cup of tea dries out.  Just as men's skin".

See for yourself below.  Utter bollocks.

http://www.dovemencare.co.uk/uk/en/media_gallery.html


Dettol 'No Touch' Handwash

OK, not a newie but SUCH a goodie.  This really is marketing aimed at utterly STUPID people, who frankly shouldn't be allowed out of the house.

The genius premise of this advertising treat is that soap pumps get germy, therefore you really need to fork out on a soap pump that you don't have to touch.  Simples.  And like all of the other hygiene paranoia ads, this features the obligatory shot of a baby licking a raw chicken breast, highlighting the DANGER that lurks around every corner of your DIRTY house.  It's a miracle that you're still alive.

So thank heaven for Dettol handwash, that kills 99.9% of all known germs.  (They never tell you about that remaining 0.1% - Ebola? Anthrax? Bubonic plague?).  And even better, you don't have to touch the germy pump.  OK, just step back a minute.  Even if your soap pump is covered in potentially lethal pathogens, after touching it YOU ARE ABOUT TO WASH YOUR HANDS WITH HANDWASH THAT KILLS 99.9% OF GERMS.

If you still don't get it, stop reading this blog immediately, lock yourself in a darkened room and never touch anything again.  Ever.  It could kill you.